Ok, I totally cannot even look at John McCain without having Danny Devito flashbacks in his role as the Penguin in Batman. McCain is even getting flippers and starting to waddle. Have you heard the sound clip of him? “How bout Sarah Palin, EHHHHH?!” EHHHHH?! He’s starting to quack or bark or whatever it is that penguins do. My apology to penguins everywhere, you are so much cuter than John McCain. I wouldn’t be surprised if he came to his next “hate rally” wearing a black top hat and holding a twirling umbrella! Speaking of Republican “hate rallies” and lynch mobs….did you know that they said that Obama is actually a racist, Nazi, and was a test tube baby cloned from the cells of Saddam? What’s even more interesting is his moose killing running mate Sarah Palin. She is so fascinating. As a woman I am taken aback and breathless as I watch in shock and awe as she so gracefully spews out horrible, hateful lies to millions of brainless zombies who believe her every word. Won’t they be surprised when the real truth comes out and it is revealed that Sarah has the number 666 on the back of her neck! I’ve seen it! The number of the moose she’s killed is tattooed right on her! And you know how significant 666 is. It’s also the number of the amount of criminally insane people attending their “hate rallies” every day. They seem to have a rare form of Turrets syndrome occurring. Violent outbursts of terrorist! Arab! Kill him! Now that’s comforting. Yes, the world will be a much better place under the regime of the Penguin, the Antichrist, and the retarded hate zombie followers. Hey, at least they have good family values!
Which brings me to my recipe of the day:
Palin Pot Roast.
Take one lb. chuck roast. If you can’t find good ole beef then freshly tortured moose will do just fine. Put meat in croc-pot. Ask “Joe Six Pack” if you can have one of his beers. Pour over the poor dead moose meat and cry your eyes out. Add one can of cream of mushroom soup, onions, garlic & soy sauce. Cover, cook and go to a hockey game. Serve with The Penguins mashed potatoes, recipe to follow.
Buy a box of instant potatoes and a bag of real potatoes. Make the boxed ones by adding water and set aside. Boil fresh potatoes, peel and mash with butter, sour cream and chives. Serve the boxed potatoes along side of the roast to your guests, tell them it’s homemade. They’ll believe you. Also tell them that Barack Obama was cloned from the cells of the late Saddam Hussein. They’ll believe you. Take advantage of their brain damageness and tell them that you are really Santa Clause and that instead of raising taxes, you will actually give every American a $7,000 check, buy up all of the bad mortgages, and take care of the Veterans. They’ll believe you. Your followers will be so intoxicated from your Palin Pot Roast that they won’t even notice that they are eating instant crap. Meanwhile, you can enjoy the real mashed potatoes along with your meal-ticket while you laugh all the way to the poorhouse. Suckers! Yumm!